This blog is an artwork history and work in progress log. NSFW/R18 images are present.
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2024年9月 この範囲を時系列順で読む この範囲をファイルに出力する
nagamas gift to rarepairsmut on twitter, enjoy! one of the ships was shura/corrin; i had been eying those two for a while so it was a delight to try my hand at them along with some added details ~ shura keeps appearing on my recent fates teams no matter what.
filed under #fefates & #fegen since it's not gunter-related
filed under #fefates & #fegen since it's not gunter-related
thirsty as sin for fucked up senile meow meows rn
#hellsing

+ extra walter doodle because been reading some of the most well written, but really fucked up fics of old!walter by an author who described him as every bit as mad as the rest of the hellsingers, he just hides it best.
anyway he’s been on my mind lately. fascinating dude.
#hellsing

+ extra walter doodle because been reading some of the most well written, but really fucked up fics of old!walter by an author who described him as every bit as mad as the rest of the hellsingers, he just hides it best.
anyway he’s been on my mind lately. fascinating dude.
2024.09.02 19:41:18 編集
assorted sketchdumps of scenes from your ruin, my ruin my 120k #fefates gunter/corrin slowburn fic. even getting bad wrist problems in spring 2024 didn't slow me down... nsfw under the cut!

unclench your fists, my lover, the war is over now.
(i’ve forgotten how to uncurl my fingers from the trigger.)
be gentle, my lover, the war is over now.
(i don’t remember what it’s like not to have gunsteel in my bones.)
come home, my lover, the war is over now.
(i’m back at the place i left but home is gone where i cannot find it.)
sleep, my lover, the war is over now.
(the war follows me into sleep. i’m afraid i’ll never leave it behind.)
kiss me, my lover, the war is over now.
(my fingers still drip red and i do not want to stain you with them.)
— teach me how to be at peace again ( j.p. )
COLLAPSE

unclench your fists, my lover, the war is over now.
(i’ve forgotten how to uncurl my fingers from the trigger.)
be gentle, my lover, the war is over now.
(i don’t remember what it’s like not to have gunsteel in my bones.)
come home, my lover, the war is over now.
(i’m back at the place i left but home is gone where i cannot find it.)
sleep, my lover, the war is over now.
(the war follows me into sleep. i’m afraid i’ll never leave it behind.)
kiss me, my lover, the war is over now.
(my fingers still drip red and i do not want to stain you with them.)
— teach me how to be at peace again ( j.p. )
COLLAPSE
final #ironcrown banner i did for the official hiatus announcement. you can read the comic for free here
one of the best and most unironic pieces of art advice i can give is to draw yourself with your favorites. whatever you want to call it, self insert, self shipping, hanging out with your muse, doesn’t matter; draw yourself and your favorite characters in the same space and interacting.
you don’t have to post it, but make it for the love of god.
I’m serious, by the way, and it doesn’t matter what kind of dynamic you’re imagining, either.
if it’s platonic or familial– play with the body language. does your favorite’s body language change around you versus other people? if they’re a villain, how would they relax in that sense of privacy versus in the public or “keeping the face”? what are the gestures you’d draw for both of you talking? do they touch their face while talking? how would you draw yourself leaning in with attention?
if it’s romantic– how do you draw them relaxing in the space with you, and/or vice versa? if they give comfort with tactile quality, how would they give a hug, and how does the overlapping forms of the bodies interact on paper? how do you draw longing vs satisfaction, and playing with the distance of space of both?
(and yes, if it’s sexual– what kind of kinks have you always hidden away? what’s the shit you can’t imagine poking at with a stick in daylight or in reality? how would you render the textural implements of fetish items? how does the anatomy work in 3D/perspective/the space itself? how do you draw the raw tension lines of intimacy to the point you “feel” the intimacy and/or it feels believable? how do you convincingly portray shyness or lust?)
this exercise, for lack of a better word, also has a funny but cool side effect of letting you play with how you want to present yourself too. are you not feeling your own shape language? change it up! want to wear the clothes you’ve always felt a little too scared to put on? want to play drag? use this chance to study how clothes look, how to render the tactile quality of fabric, what makes silk feel different than leather, how would you draw confidence in a person?
how would you erase the idea of artistic shame in your vocabulary?
you don’t have to post it, but make it for the love of god.
I’m serious, by the way, and it doesn’t matter what kind of dynamic you’re imagining, either.
if it’s platonic or familial– play with the body language. does your favorite’s body language change around you versus other people? if they’re a villain, how would they relax in that sense of privacy versus in the public or “keeping the face”? what are the gestures you’d draw for both of you talking? do they touch their face while talking? how would you draw yourself leaning in with attention?
if it’s romantic– how do you draw them relaxing in the space with you, and/or vice versa? if they give comfort with tactile quality, how would they give a hug, and how does the overlapping forms of the bodies interact on paper? how do you draw longing vs satisfaction, and playing with the distance of space of both?
(and yes, if it’s sexual– what kind of kinks have you always hidden away? what’s the shit you can’t imagine poking at with a stick in daylight or in reality? how would you render the textural implements of fetish items? how does the anatomy work in 3D/perspective/the space itself? how do you draw the raw tension lines of intimacy to the point you “feel” the intimacy and/or it feels believable? how do you convincingly portray shyness or lust?)
this exercise, for lack of a better word, also has a funny but cool side effect of letting you play with how you want to present yourself too. are you not feeling your own shape language? change it up! want to wear the clothes you’ve always felt a little too scared to put on? want to play drag? use this chance to study how clothes look, how to render the tactile quality of fabric, what makes silk feel different than leather, how would you draw confidence in a person?
how would you erase the idea of artistic shame in your vocabulary?
gunterleigh gifts to lululeighsworld for being so kind to me as i loose my mind over their FE hubby <3
first pic is us having a teatime double date :) the refill line is actually an easter egg nod to their adorable fic as it felt apropos. filed under #fefates & #zihark
COLLAPSE
first pic is us having a teatime double date :) the refill line is actually an easter egg nod to their adorable fic as it felt apropos. filed under #fefates & #zihark
COLLAPSE
what greater sin wip’s. love i can remove almost every iconic element from alucard and he’s still recognizable. more nsfw pix and talking about the #hellsing doujin under the cut


WGS was originally created as an alucard/integra-centric doujinshi since it’s been one of my mainstay ships from day one.
halfway through creating WGS, i started getting into walter/integra for various reasons.
firstly, old man walter’s hot. porque no los dos.
secondly, now, before the audience starts pelting me with tomatoes and molotov cocktails, I find i like walter/integra in large part because it brings up deeply uncomfortable questions about why integra/alucard feels so delightful to ship but why walter/integra feels viscerally wrong in comparison when arguably alutegra is just as skewed in a consent and power tilt sense.
integra’s raised in a deeply fucked situation where she kills for the first time before her teens, is raised by two men who are at *best* platonically obsessed with her, and have each already killed hundreds. that’s at best. personally i’m under no delusions that they both have designs on her to various degrees.
i intentionally drew her with lolita style in mind to point harder at that.
when and where does she try to reclaim her agency (sexually, with violence, with coercion)? when does she succeed? when does she not? when is her diminutive quality an advantage?
when do all three of them find the humanity in each other? when do they bite harder at each other’s psychic wounds?
COLLAPSE


WGS was originally created as an alucard/integra-centric doujinshi since it’s been one of my mainstay ships from day one.
halfway through creating WGS, i started getting into walter/integra for various reasons.
firstly, old man walter’s hot. porque no los dos.
secondly, now, before the audience starts pelting me with tomatoes and molotov cocktails, I find i like walter/integra in large part because it brings up deeply uncomfortable questions about why integra/alucard feels so delightful to ship but why walter/integra feels viscerally wrong in comparison when arguably alutegra is just as skewed in a consent and power tilt sense.
integra’s raised in a deeply fucked situation where she kills for the first time before her teens, is raised by two men who are at *best* platonically obsessed with her, and have each already killed hundreds. that’s at best. personally i’m under no delusions that they both have designs on her to various degrees.
i intentionally drew her with lolita style in mind to point harder at that.
when and where does she try to reclaim her agency (sexually, with violence, with coercion)? when does she succeed? when does she not? when is her diminutive quality an advantage?
when do all three of them find the humanity in each other? when do they bite harder at each other’s psychic wounds?
COLLAPSE
so one of the technical bits i challenged myself with this gunter/corrin doujin was to:
(a) figure out an efficient process for professional multi-page artistic works in linux/true OSS programs - from ideation all the way to printer hand-off.
(b) and a process that fit well with my brain and kept me from spinning my wheels endlessly redoing pages. it’s a common problem with longer projects (aka why you see reboots of webcomics all the time, and also why i haven’t been able to get “what greater sin” out for three years cuz i sucked at this lol).
why the focus on process though?
after mastering a certian degree of technical proficiency. it’s what separates the hobbyist artists from the pros. not to toot my horn, but i’m quite good at project management process at work, and about two years ago it dawned on me to take some of that learned knowledge and actually apply it here if only to save eyestrain/wrist-strain time.
worklazier smarter, not harder etc.
before i get into the process outline, there’s two programs that are doing the heavy lifting since i gave them a trial run with the last anthology and they worked great in tandem. (both cost no money and are available on all major OS’s btw)
krita - my main drawing program. sketching/inking/speech bubbles/coloring/vector stuff can all be done here.
libreoffice writer - basically microsoft word for linux. i use it for arranging multiple pages, reordering, and exporting as .pdf to give to the printer (while amazing at rendering, krita can’t export as pdf or show multi-pages)
so!
process wise, it occurred to me not too long ago that i needed to consolidate my multi-page creative projects into 3 major gates.
thumbnail sketches
proof of concept layout
“last 10” final
thumbnail sketches
thumbnails are a common concept in comics, but they’re great for print front/back matter too. thumbnails ain’t here to look pretty, their sole purpose to get the idea from your noggin to on the page.

here’s a completely unaltered spread from my journal with a ton of thumbs and notes for this doujin.
so what’s the kind of stuff i think about with thumbs?
how panels in a comic fit together with the major emotional beats + line of action. does the eye follow the pages naturally? do you “feel” the emotional impact?
does the compositions work with each other? negative/positive space, weight on top or bottom or diagonally, etc. do the pages feel claustrophobic or too empty? do they breathe?
decorative framing elements that reflect the tone you want + how they generally lead the eye across the page
random notes about overall tone or potential future pages
etcetc
at this point i import that digitally, and start drawing a proper sketch off of it.
fast forward from that sketch to: “proof of concept” layout
i’m calling this proof of concept instead of a draft as they serve different purposes. a draft is a half-finished work you can just screenshot and show to anyone for feedback (like comms). proof of concept here is showing a certian level of completeness across draft pages to measure consistency.
lack of consistency is the mind killer killer of comics.
proof of concept is specifically meant to nip the ‘fizzled out halfway’ issues in the bud. it’s to show you how cool it looks altogether already, but also shed a light on problem areas that are potentially popping up on the earlier side, so there’s less time wasted.
this is a little premature in the process for a proof of concept screenshot, but you get the idea here in a later strip, shown here as screenshots imported into libreoffice writer:
another reason that made libreoffice writer essential is the accurate 2-page spread view. between that, being able to resize the page to whatever you need, and the very easy pdf exporter (with customizable compression), i don’t know if i could do this kind of project here.
now, backing up - what kinds of consistency are we checking for here?
does the inking/coloring style change noticeably in a jarring way?
is there one comic strip that the pacing/paneling sucks in comparison to the others? or feels awkwardly added in tone and perhaps better saved for a different project?
is there one panel within a sequential series that’s torturing you? what’s the best way to throw it out and redo it even faster?
do the front/back matter support the meat of the inside in a clever, on-tone way?
did you accidentally change the font halfway through after you liked your new shiny toy? which one works better?
etc
keep in mind we’re not just checking the consistency in one strip, it’s for the book as a whole.
and then lastly, “the last ten” final
“the last ten” is a mental concept i’ve used for the last ten years for single comic pages. it’s especially tempting to noodle over endlessly making one comic page perfect, when you could have done ten reasonably good ones in the same time, and so i made this my last step making IC pages.
once when you approach a level of reasonably done, but kinda hate the page and are procrastinating on getting it out, stop, rest your eyes overnight, and list the last ten minor things you’d change.
once when you’ve changed those? out the door it goes. now, i’m gonna switch to a different project but here’s a good example of a “last ten” stage applied to illustrations when i did fallen!gunter’s FEH mockups.
looks pretty complete, right? WRONG :D i can’t remember the exact last ten i used, but it was something like:
too much of one specific glowy purple on both, i wanted more contrast with the red glow + “water” texture
needed more effects on the first image to better match FEH’s aesthetic
change Leigh’s credits after they got a chance to see it and give the thumbs up
knee/shin on left looks unfinished painting wise, clean up
missing chest plate silver decorations on left, clean up
etc
this is the last hail mary check to hack your brain into being satisfied with the page. you’ve had your say, onwards to the next one. now, you can also have an additional 'last ten’ for the project as a whole. but it’s especially critical for comic pages to help keep the momentum/tempo/pace going.
anyway! we’ll see how all of this actually works in practice depending on how fast i can get this doujin out. :)
COLLAPSE
(a) figure out an efficient process for professional multi-page artistic works in linux/true OSS programs - from ideation all the way to printer hand-off.
(b) and a process that fit well with my brain and kept me from spinning my wheels endlessly redoing pages. it’s a common problem with longer projects (aka why you see reboots of webcomics all the time, and also why i haven’t been able to get “what greater sin” out for three years cuz i sucked at this lol).
why the focus on process though?
after mastering a certian degree of technical proficiency. it’s what separates the hobbyist artists from the pros. not to toot my horn, but i’m quite good at project management process at work, and about two years ago it dawned on me to take some of that learned knowledge and actually apply it here if only to save eyestrain/wrist-strain time.
work
before i get into the process outline, there’s two programs that are doing the heavy lifting since i gave them a trial run with the last anthology and they worked great in tandem. (both cost no money and are available on all major OS’s btw)
krita - my main drawing program. sketching/inking/speech bubbles/coloring/vector stuff can all be done here.
libreoffice writer - basically microsoft word for linux. i use it for arranging multiple pages, reordering, and exporting as .pdf to give to the printer (while amazing at rendering, krita can’t export as pdf or show multi-pages)
so!
process wise, it occurred to me not too long ago that i needed to consolidate my multi-page creative projects into 3 major gates.
thumbnail sketches
proof of concept layout
“last 10” final
thumbnail sketches
thumbnails are a common concept in comics, but they’re great for print front/back matter too. thumbnails ain’t here to look pretty, their sole purpose to get the idea from your noggin to on the page.

here’s a completely unaltered spread from my journal with a ton of thumbs and notes for this doujin.
so what’s the kind of stuff i think about with thumbs?
how panels in a comic fit together with the major emotional beats + line of action. does the eye follow the pages naturally? do you “feel” the emotional impact?
does the compositions work with each other? negative/positive space, weight on top or bottom or diagonally, etc. do the pages feel claustrophobic or too empty? do they breathe?
decorative framing elements that reflect the tone you want + how they generally lead the eye across the page
random notes about overall tone or potential future pages
etcetc
at this point i import that digitally, and start drawing a proper sketch off of it.
fast forward from that sketch to: “proof of concept” layout
i’m calling this proof of concept instead of a draft as they serve different purposes. a draft is a half-finished work you can just screenshot and show to anyone for feedback (like comms). proof of concept here is showing a certian level of completeness across draft pages to measure consistency.
lack of consistency is the mind killer killer of comics.
proof of concept is specifically meant to nip the ‘fizzled out halfway’ issues in the bud. it’s to show you how cool it looks altogether already, but also shed a light on problem areas that are potentially popping up on the earlier side, so there’s less time wasted.
this is a little premature in the process for a proof of concept screenshot, but you get the idea here in a later strip, shown here as screenshots imported into libreoffice writer:
another reason that made libreoffice writer essential is the accurate 2-page spread view. between that, being able to resize the page to whatever you need, and the very easy pdf exporter (with customizable compression), i don’t know if i could do this kind of project here.
now, backing up - what kinds of consistency are we checking for here?
does the inking/coloring style change noticeably in a jarring way?
is there one comic strip that the pacing/paneling sucks in comparison to the others? or feels awkwardly added in tone and perhaps better saved for a different project?
is there one panel within a sequential series that’s torturing you? what’s the best way to throw it out and redo it even faster?
do the front/back matter support the meat of the inside in a clever, on-tone way?
did you accidentally change the font halfway through after you liked your new shiny toy? which one works better?
etc
keep in mind we’re not just checking the consistency in one strip, it’s for the book as a whole.
and then lastly, “the last ten” final
“the last ten” is a mental concept i’ve used for the last ten years for single comic pages. it’s especially tempting to noodle over endlessly making one comic page perfect, when you could have done ten reasonably good ones in the same time, and so i made this my last step making IC pages.
once when you approach a level of reasonably done, but kinda hate the page and are procrastinating on getting it out, stop, rest your eyes overnight, and list the last ten minor things you’d change.
once when you’ve changed those? out the door it goes. now, i’m gonna switch to a different project but here’s a good example of a “last ten” stage applied to illustrations when i did fallen!gunter’s FEH mockups.
looks pretty complete, right? WRONG :D i can’t remember the exact last ten i used, but it was something like:
too much of one specific glowy purple on both, i wanted more contrast with the red glow + “water” texture
needed more effects on the first image to better match FEH’s aesthetic
change Leigh’s credits after they got a chance to see it and give the thumbs up
knee/shin on left looks unfinished painting wise, clean up
missing chest plate silver decorations on left, clean up
etc
this is the last hail mary check to hack your brain into being satisfied with the page. you’ve had your say, onwards to the next one. now, you can also have an additional 'last ten’ for the project as a whole. but it’s especially critical for comic pages to help keep the momentum/tempo/pace going.
anyway! we’ll see how all of this actually works in practice depending on how fast i can get this doujin out. :)
COLLAPSE

a very, very happy birthday to the incredible @glassshard ! hats off to the dear @forumkedis for instigating this; we figured your boys from unsounded would be a treat for you, especially in such … compromising … positions ~
notes on drawing old people:
* morpho’s skin + fat book is an invaluable reader for an easily-digested anatomy study. here’s that book plus a few others. please support the author if you can.
* like other naturalistic carbon life forms in nature, lines don’t have to be perfect. (personally i find tiktok-standard young people the hardest ones to draw because if you draw a line with the eye a smidge off, it looks weird. old people, you got a lot of forgiveness in them lines. hell, multiple lines just look good as wrinkles.)
*fleshy things sag, and they always sag towards gravity (down). if you had to pick three major areas to draw, the bit under people’s chin, the tits (unisex), and the belly are generally the main three.
* a cluster of wrinkles tend to pop up in joints that bend a lot, notably knuckles, elbows, and knees. those same joints have a habit of enlarging, whether due to inflammation, or the surrounding muscle wasting away a bit.
* you move real slowly and your range of motion is a lot more limited because joints hurt in particular. (aka your hands/elbows/neck/shoulders can’t reach shit they used to.) old people’ll often have canes/back-scratchers/etc discretely within range to help with this, to almost act as a limb-extender.
* with necks in particular, you tend to move your whole upper body in one piece rather than your neck twisting independently from the shoulders.
* … and you really don’t want to fall, and maybe your eyesight’s going too. so you’re always double checking whether or not your surroundings are stable. old people sit down gingerly (hands might grasp a table or railing several times for the best position), and gravity is not your friend getting up either.
* backs tend to hunch over and stay in the bent position. because of this, and the muscles wasting a way, old people often tend to look like they “shrink” slightly versus an adult in their prime. a notable exception is people who’ve had military training, and the difference is striking.
* lastly, when in doubt, watch some videos of some old people even just for a few seconds, and mentally sketch out how you’d draw the freeze-frames. which bits move, and which bits stay stationary?
* morpho’s skin + fat book is an invaluable reader for an easily-digested anatomy study. here’s that book plus a few others. please support the author if you can.
* like other naturalistic carbon life forms in nature, lines don’t have to be perfect. (personally i find tiktok-standard young people the hardest ones to draw because if you draw a line with the eye a smidge off, it looks weird. old people, you got a lot of forgiveness in them lines. hell, multiple lines just look good as wrinkles.)
*fleshy things sag, and they always sag towards gravity (down). if you had to pick three major areas to draw, the bit under people’s chin, the tits (unisex), and the belly are generally the main three.
* a cluster of wrinkles tend to pop up in joints that bend a lot, notably knuckles, elbows, and knees. those same joints have a habit of enlarging, whether due to inflammation, or the surrounding muscle wasting away a bit.
* you move real slowly and your range of motion is a lot more limited because joints hurt in particular. (aka your hands/elbows/neck/shoulders can’t reach shit they used to.) old people’ll often have canes/back-scratchers/etc discretely within range to help with this, to almost act as a limb-extender.
* with necks in particular, you tend to move your whole upper body in one piece rather than your neck twisting independently from the shoulders.
* … and you really don’t want to fall, and maybe your eyesight’s going too. so you’re always double checking whether or not your surroundings are stable. old people sit down gingerly (hands might grasp a table or railing several times for the best position), and gravity is not your friend getting up either.
* backs tend to hunch over and stay in the bent position. because of this, and the muscles wasting a way, old people often tend to look like they “shrink” slightly versus an adult in their prime. a notable exception is people who’ve had military training, and the difference is striking.
* lastly, when in doubt, watch some videos of some old people even just for a few seconds, and mentally sketch out how you’d draw the freeze-frames. which bits move, and which bits stay stationary?
drawing tip! when i clean up a gestural sketch straight into a clean line work (I don’t sketch on different layers), there’s some lines that if you erase these specific lines, the picture immediately looks pretty fugly.
I joke these lines should be called “load bearing lines’ - borrowing a term from building construction (load bearing beam) where if you remove the beam, the house becomes structurally unstable.
these load bearing lines are different than outlines around the form, or even invisible skeletal lines. these can be as subtle as curving around the waist as a belt and transforming into a cloth fold, and back into hair. the key is the load bearing line keeps the eye moving in an arc.
below you can see the few lines in the torso that i’d say fit the description, and a before/after.

the red line is the key since it wraps around the form in 3 axis (left/right, towards you/behind the guy, and from bottom/up, and also is a guide-line for your eye to follow along. there’s other "echoes” of the load bearing line particularly in the hair; always a good idea to have to keep that one smooth motion going.

see what I mean?
these load bearing lines “can” be briefly broken up (see blue line around left shoulder) but should still attempt to use negative space as part of the continuation. try it! :>
I joke these lines should be called “load bearing lines’ - borrowing a term from building construction (load bearing beam) where if you remove the beam, the house becomes structurally unstable.
these load bearing lines are different than outlines around the form, or even invisible skeletal lines. these can be as subtle as curving around the waist as a belt and transforming into a cloth fold, and back into hair. the key is the load bearing line keeps the eye moving in an arc.
below you can see the few lines in the torso that i’d say fit the description, and a before/after.

the red line is the key since it wraps around the form in 3 axis (left/right, towards you/behind the guy, and from bottom/up, and also is a guide-line for your eye to follow along. there’s other "echoes” of the load bearing line particularly in the hair; always a good idea to have to keep that one smooth motion going.

see what I mean?
these load bearing lines “can” be briefly broken up (see blue line around left shoulder) but should still attempt to use negative space as part of the continuation. try it! :>
even late blooms need a good watering - for jonphaedrus
crossposted on Ao3
tags: #fefates
Creator Chose Not To Use Warnings
COLLAPSE
crossposted on Ao3
tags: #fefates
Creator Chose Not To Use Warnings
COLLAPSE
title: first time
It’s the only time Corrin feels the old veteran’s hands tremble.
Creator Chose Not To Use Warnings
crossposted on Ao3
COLLAPSE
It’s the only time Corrin feels the old veteran’s hands tremble.
Creator Chose Not To Use Warnings
crossposted on Ao3
COLLAPSE
some illustrated scenes from my recent #fetellius Muarim/ #zihark fic, sweet dreams (are made of this), posted on Ao3

bonus, an accurate representation of the writing process…
COLLAPSE

bonus, an accurate representation of the writing process…
COLLAPSE
2024.09.02 02:55:18 編集
title: FEALTY - #hellsing illustrated fic
Ao3 mirror
summary: a gift Sir Integra Hellsing gets for her sixteenth birthday, and what bootblacking means.
Ao3 mirror
summary: a gift Sir Integra Hellsing gets for her sixteenth birthday, and what bootblacking means.
2024.09.02 02:36:59 編集
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local gilf stud SLAUGHTERS gacha fetuses
++ assorted #fefates memes because shitposting about a character is a love language. gunt_jeb meme under the cut, knock yourself out of you want to meme with it